testimonies and malaria.

so today was really cool!
i got to go up during the sermon at chach today and tell everyone how i got to where i am right now. the sermon was on jeremiah 29 so it was quite fitting.
it was fun and i don't think i sounded too nervous, even though my heart was beating so fast. its weird, i would rather sing in front of a group of people than speak. public speaking is not my forte. but it went well and i am glad i could share my experiences.

and i also took my first malaria pill today. and i was kind of nervous because a bunch of people had told me (esp. right before i swallowed it) that they usually feel like crap after taking it. and these are the ones that are harder on your system and sometimes come with hallucinations and vivid dreams. but i feel pretty normal! so another reason why i am glad for my iron clad stomach.

two weeks until the big event! eek!

inclusion.

I don't like being left out. I don't like missing things.

I anticipate this will be one of the hardest things about leaving to go to Africa. I am definitely going to miss things going on back home. Friends are going to hang out, family will celebrate Christmas and New Years, and I will not be there.

I think the aspect that scares me the most though, is that while I am gone, people might move on with their lives (which is completely expected) and when I get back, things will be different. Relationships that I have with people might change or end and new relationships between people might start while I am away, and that could change the relationships that I have. And I don't want things to change. Or really, I should say, I don't want things to change for the worse or that might leave me out of the equation.

I don't really know how to end this thought...because it is a legitimate fear that I have.
Is this another thing I should be trusting God with? The answer is a resounding yes.

But I still don't want things to change.

i have been approved!

i just heard word that i have officially been approved as a Ministry Volunteer for the Christian Reformed World Missions in Nigeria!  so i guess this means that i can go! or something!

i also just heard that donations are coming in - so thank you so much for those! keep 'em coming!

so things seem to be coming together for this trip. the fundraiser is panning out well and people seem excited for it. i think i am excited for it, but it it is soon approaching and there is lots left to do.

and my thesis. well, its there. and i am getting more hopeful, but again, i may not meet my deadline. this appears to be the theme in academic circles, so i suppose i should get used to it. but for those of you that know me well, i hate to be late. so i constantly remind myself of the big picture, and that it will get done. at some point. i hope.

you know what i realized the other day? i am very good at piling things on, and making my life a lot more difficult. like, last september, i not only had to write my MCATs, i also applied for med schools, and proposed my thesis all in a matter of a month. this time around, i am planning a trip to africa, fundraising and finishing my thesis. sometimes i think i thrive on challenges a bit too much. why make life easy eh?

with that said, i should get back to work.

ugh.

this is how i feel right now.